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Thursday, February 19, 2015

Biggest pimple in the world being popped

You can't just pop it like that!

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Greek god Pan is dancing in the museum

Just an old animation of the Greek god Pan dancing in the museum. A statue brought into life.

Overweight cat can't get herself out of the tub

Saw this video from Youtube and trimmed it to be shorter. Poor cat can't get out of the tub after bath. She couldn't lift herself due to her weight. I wonder what they feed her.

Please don't get your pets this fat. lol

Saturday, June 28, 2014

The army compilation

meanwhile at the army
so we're on guard

what's fun in the army
getting them in place

joining the army
passed out

funny army

army fail compilation

army fail
when no one's watching

doing it wrong

waking up late

yes! this is how we do it

and the winner is...

enough said...

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Street Dentists from India

Get your dental treatment at a very affordable price from the street dentists in India. The dentist said he is happy to receive the money from a happy customer. But if the customer is not happy, he doesn't want the money at all. Sounds fair? Watch the video below:

street dentist from indiaFeel free to choose your dentures here.
indian dentist
Junior dentist preparing for a molar extraction. The anesthesia. 

dentist in india
Okay done! Now time to pull out some tooth.

Senior dentist ready to extract the tooth from this female customer. Here we go. Say AAAHHH!

And success!!!

Watch this!!


Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Jokes with a bit of sense

Turning on the car stereo because the silence is too awkward

If people could read my mind I would get punched in the face a lot

Seeing a spider isn't a problem. Seeing it disappear is a problem..

I used to draw the sun in the corner of the paper. ALWAYS

That moment when you received a one word text and you were thinking so hard what to reply

Me: "time for a new diet" Me thirty minutes later: PIZZA ICECREAM CAKE AND CUPCAKES

Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?

I'm such a bad friend when it comes to communication like if you don't try to contact me you won't hear from me for months at a time

That awkward moment when you are alone with someone you just met

I'm not lazy. I'm on energy saving mode

I have unlimited texting but I only text like 3 people

Isn't your first birthday technically your second?

A fridge is a clear example of what matters is on the inside

Google must be a woman, it knows everything

A picture speaks 1000 words but with photoshop it tells 1000 lies

Politeness is so rare that some people mistake it as flirting

How to lose weight: turn your head to the left, then turn it to the right, repeat exercise when offered food

There is no u in awesome but there is me

I'm here on Instagram because my family is on Facebook

Boys lie more, but girls lie better

Twinkle twinkle little star I want to hit you with my car

four words i never want to hear: there is no food

Saying "I'm almost there" means i have not even left the house

I tried being normal worst 10 minutes of my life

H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K - half of my energy wasted on random knowledge

Harlem shake is just an excuse to go full retard for 30 seconds

Teacher: I hope not to see you copying another student's test.
Me: I hope you don't see that either

I have more conversations in my head than in real life

Best memories come from bad ideas

When I have money I don't have anything to buy. When I don't have money I want everything

Rules of math: It seems easy it's wrong

It takes 10 seconds to write a text but 10 minutes to choose an emoji that goes with it

I wish there was a pen that could copy and paste

Dear dreams: stop ending when the good part comes!!

Once I wake up I stay on my phone for like 2 hours

That awkward moment when you still don't understand someone after they have repeated themselves 4 times

When I start to study all the good T.V shows come on

You're not fat, you're just easier to see

I always regret putting my phone on silent when I can't find it

I'm not insulting you.. I'm just describing you

Balloons are so weird "happy birthday here's a plastic sack of my breath"

School: 2+2 = 4
Homework: 2+4+2 = 8
Exam: juan has 4 apples his train is seven minutes early, calculate the sun's mass

Listening to someone telling a story thinking... lie lie lie lie lie

I constantly check my phone for no reason

If women say all men are the same, why do they take their time to choose

Our phones fall we panic, our friends fall we laugh

shower - place of decision making

restarting the song because you missed your favorite line

Dear math, I don't want to solve your problems I have my own problems

People think sorry is a magic eraser

Need to end a conversation? "oh shit, i have to go, my goldfish is drowning!"

OMG, I hate her...
= instant best friends

These days, losing your phone is like losing your life

Teacher: why are you late to class?
Student: you're lucky I came to school

My room may be a mess but I know where EVERYTHING is

I wish exercising was as easy as eating

Everybody starts caring when it's too late

Fake friends tell you pretty lies, real friends tell you the ugly truth

Feels like time goes by so slow when you are waiting for something

I hate waiting an entire week to watch the next episode of my favorite show

On a math test: 2+2= ?
me: uses calculator just in case

Sleep is my drug, me bed is the dealer, my alarm is the police

My phone screen is brighter than my future

Twenty years ago we had Steve jobs, Johnny cash and Bob hope. Now we have no jobs, no cash and no hope, please don't let Kevin bacon die

Hides good snacks from family members

Sorry, I'm poor I can't afford to pay attention

"I'm fine" never actually means "I'm fine"

I believe in hate at first sight

That awkward moment when the dictionary definition is more confusing than the word

How am I supposed to lose weight when the best part of life is food

Can i download money?

Sleep is for the people who don't have internet

Birthdays then: look at all those presents
Birthdays now: look at all those notifications

If I reply to your one word text.. Just know you're

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Celebrity TV host hospitalized after an accident with a cucumber

gay and cucumber
You don't want to sit on that cucumber!

"Sucaldito, one of the hosts of ABS-CBN's "The Buzz," reportedly met with the accident Sunday night and was rushed to the hospital after complaining of "extreme pain" in his bottom.X-rays subsequently revealed that a broken piece of cucumber, about five inches in length, had gotten lodged into the lower end of his large intestine. It was not immediately clear how the cucumber got there."

Yes, it is really not clear in my mind and heart and soul how this smart cucumber got in there. HOW???

"The surgeons who operated on Sucaldito were tight-lipped and refused to discuss his case with media, citing doctor-patient confidentiality. Oddly enough, they all looked like they were trying vainly to keep from laughing and refused to look reporters in the eye.

Members of Sucaldito's household who declined to be named said they recovered the other half of the cucumber, also five inches in length, in Sucaldito's bedroom.

They said it had "bite marks" and was in a "soggy" state.

Besides the cucumber, they said they also found "a bottle of Johnson's baby oil, pictures of scantily clad men, and lots of tissue paper."

Reached by phone, Sucaldito said he is fine and will be discharged from hospital soon. He explained that it was all an accident."

So it was all an accident and this is how it happened! - Oh my, you don't want to mess with that cucumber.

"Gumagawa kasi ako ng salad. Napaupo ako dun sa chair e meron palang pipino dun na patayo ang pusisyon. Basta, mabilis kasi ang mga pangyayari (I was making a salad. I sat on a chair but there was a cucumber there in an upright position. Everything just happened so fast)" he said.

I never thought that a cucumber can be this dangerous. When it stands straight, firm and sturdy like a soldier, it can pierce through your clothing, and into your body and into your very soul. hehehe, peace!

In a related development, a group of vegan Filipinos is reportedly thinking of filing an abuse complaint against Sucaldito for allegedly molesting a harmless and defenseless vegetable."

Where did this news came from? It's from an entertainment blog, Good Times Manila, that features satires on celebrities and politicians. The site disclaimer says:

Quote ---Is this blog screwing with me?

The short answer is YES.

This is satire, you guys. Which means you're not supposed to believe anything you read here. So please refrain from asking: "Is this true?"

This one made my day and wanted to share it with everyone.

Every time I see cucumbers, I just can't help but smile. :)

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